stress ball

GUD MORNING! yeah...
wat a typical tym for me to blog huh? it's 0156 in my watch btw...

i just had my uplifting...mind blowing conversation with a significant person in my life ryt now... or shud i say my stress ball... no we're not in a relationship...we're not dating either... we're just getting to know each other... the thing is, he tried to court me... and honestly, i liked him *applause for u*... but ironically, i actually told him to stop...

i guess, u guys know that i just had a failed relationship not more than six months ago... and it wasn't just another fling that i had... it was a serious one... or at least, i was serious about it... yeah, i'm taking relationships seriously, more than anything in this world...more than my homeworks...more than my nursing process...more than my nursing care plan which is really vital for me as a nursing student/nurse :|
my life actually turned upside down when he decided to cool things off between us and eventually led into not seeing/talking to each other anymore.... i was a pathetic human being that time... not knowing where to start again, as if my whole life was wrecked...

and then, there came mr.jfk... i labeled him that in my fonebuk... :P it was an unexpected confession he made about two months ago through FB... :p hehehe...that was funny... at first, i really don't like him... i think he's weird... and he still is... :p but of course i didn't act aloof... i actually entertained him...

as time went by, i discovered his sweet/funny/serious/intellectual/soft/caring side... which really started to melt the metal bars that's holding my precious heart in prison... yeah, he was able to do that... it really feels good talking to him...
well, we talk more often through chat, fb, and fone...we seldom talk in person... i wished we cud though... how i wish... :D i actually think i found d one who'd do anything and everything for me... sumone who'd love me in my worst and in my best...he looks at me as if i mean the whole world to him... he's that sumone i wish one day i cud have for the rest of my life...

but then, i held back...

i don't think it's right... i'm very vulnerable to hurting others... that's my point... i don't want him to get hurt... then i realized, i'm doing it already... so where's my point going to?


yeah, maybe i'm crazy... but i just hope i don't regret the decisions i made right now... i hope that watever the outcomes maybe, i'l be able to paint a smile on my face... i'm not waiting for a miracle to happen... i just wanted to be fair with him... for now, i want to see him happy... because he deserve that...ol i wanted is to be free from my past before i enter into a new relationship...


in that case, it requires patience i guess...

in the end i'd still stick to this quote i heard from a local TV program...

*they say it's a perfect love when the mind agrees with the heart...*

for now, my mind does not agree with my heart...
if only love cud wait...

_theWISHFUL&HOPEFULempress